Promises end when we say it ends... - from friendster blog (2005.10.22)

Promises are mere commitments made when one is desperate to be secure in the situation one is facing or going to face...

• This promise has bothered me a lot of times this week... the promise of dedicating my time to one thing that means most to me... or rather that looks like it means most. Well, obviously I wasn't able to accomplish or keep this promise maybe because of a lot of things... but mostly because of my laziness and desires to do another thing.
  
• I woke up early this morning, thinking of what to do today... well I did plan the day to play ragnarok.. sadly I ended up playing it the whole day and missing out on a lot of things I "could" have done for my studies. Of course the whole day was dedicated to something... but it wasn't the same thing as I thought I was suppose to dedicate to... and if ever I write down the things that happened, it would all sound too boring... and lifeless...
  
• Its weird though... I always think of what I could have done and not what I would do... I know the consequences, but I rarely consider them... I accept the low grades but I often sulk about them... I say promises, but I often forget them and so I end up going too far that I give up on them... This is usually the time when I say it already ended... when in reality, I continue to make promises with the same purpose and keep ending it in the same way...
  
• I don't know... it just feels weird that I keep saying "I promised.." but then in the back of my mind I know this won't last long. Maybe that is why I keep promising... cause I don't believe in the promise I'm making.. but then how, how do I believe in it? how could I?...

This post seems weird.. but anyway, it's a post filled with "..." and "?" cause I really am like that right now... well I guess so. I didn't really adore "." when posting or even "!" cause it creates a little drama.. more of like a scandal... well anyway I end it here... maybe pure nonsense but still... I posted for the sake of posting something, rather unreasonable but better than not posting for something more unreasonable...