kono namida ga aru kara tsugi no ippo to naru

the reason behind the title... will be explained, but first let's start with the translation....

"kono namida ga aru kara"

according to WF is because these tears exist and according to the translator from a website i forgot (>.<) is because these tears that i shed...

and then... well... the next step is to define its origin, which is well a phrase from a song entitled "Kono Namida ga Aru Kara, Tsugi no Ippo to Naru," sung by Tokitou Ami as the first ending song of the anime School Rumble Second Term (Sukuran Nigakki, or School Rumble Nigakki)

with reference to the anime of its origin, I kind of got attached to it due to one episode shown to me by my brother, or actually I just watched it while he was watching and I was waiting for us to watch a horror anime --Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (When The Cicadas Cry). I was drawn to the comedy brought up by the stupidity of the two main characters and their dense attitude towards the people around them. While watching, I was able to feel a kind of "weird" fondness, or rather a slight nudge-like reaction to the character Asou Hiroyoshi... (well.. currently, as I can say, he's in the top of my "anime boys that I like" list... hehe :D) Of course I watched an episode from the second term before I got to find out the story from the first season but then I was able to catch up... for about a week I think (I watched it at the time that there were many suspensions :D). I like the Sawachika Eri and Hige (just trying to conceal a spoiler....sorry) set-up and also the Imouto (...still trying to conceal a pair spoiler..:D) and Harima Hario (...spoiler :p). 'nuf of that though....

after just revealing parts of the anime's story, along with my personal fav's, we then go to the message of the song... the lyrics go something like this...

sore ga hetakuso de
nanka kuyashii kedo
mada akiramenai, ne

bonyari to shiteru
yume mo sono uchi ni
kiri ga hareta you ni shite miseru

kono ippo susumu made
tsugi no ippo made
jikkuri, yuku kara
mae ni susumu kara
jibun no PACE de

chiisana heya demo
yabou ga tsumatteru
ichi ichi iwanai ga
sorezore no jidai
sorezore no jinsei
dakedo tsunagatteru ningen mo yo

kono namida ga aru kara
tsugi no ippo to naru
hakkiri, wakaru yo
mae ni susunderutte
kagayaki no moto e

kono namida ga aru kara
tsugi no ippo to naru
hakkiri, wakaru yo
mae ni susunderutte
kagayaki no moto e

and the translation is

it’s because i was clumsy
somehow, i have some regrets
but i’m not giving up yet

but i know that this haziness
within all these dreams
will clear like a lifting fog

until i take this step forward
and another step afterwards,
i will go on, carefully
i will keep going forward
at my own pace

it was a small room
where ambitions were stuck
one by one, they left unsaid
on each era,
on each life
but that’s what connected everyone back then

because these tears that i shed
will become another step
i will know, certainly
that i’m going forward
towards the shining light

because these tears that i shed
will become another step
i will know, certainly
that i’m going forward
towards the shining light

in this song... i seriously relate to it so much that I can't stop singing it in times I think I need it... to refer to each stanza carefully... well I'd have to pick out the phrase "sore ga hetakuso de, nanka kuyashii kedo, mada akiramenai de" which means "it's because I was clumsy , somehow, I have some regrets, but i'm not giving up yet"... this line gives me hopes that whatever comes through my way I must never loose to the present just because I regret much from the past... that even though I have my secrets..that even though I look down upon myself and create a chaos for myself...that I will still do as I must. Next is the line "bonyari to shiteru, yume no sono uchi ni, kiri ga hareta you ni shite miseru" that is "but i know that this haziness within all these dreams will clear like a lifting fog..." I relate to it as much as knowing that all the problems I see in whatever I dream of.. or rather whatever I plan will clear...and it also reminds me of God.. of how He often lifts up whatever hinders my way and whatever blocks my path so as for me to see the picture that the beautiful dream has been trying to show me. After that line.. the first chorus line is "kono ippo susumu made, tsugi no ippo made, jikkuri, yuku kara, mae ni susumu kara, jibun no PACE de" that translates to "until i take this step forward and another step afterwards, i will go on, carefully, i will keep going forward at my own pace" and touches me in such a way that I remember how I move.. how I keep going on... how I tackle away my problems...and also how I live my life...--taking step after step, not knowing where to go, but carefully moving at the pace I know I can. Although the next line --"chiisana heya demo, yabou ga tsumatteru, ichi ichi iwanai ga, sorezore no jidai, sorezore no jinsei, dakedo tsunagatteru ningen mo yo" is the only line I cannot seem to relate to because its translation goes like... "it was a small room, where ambitions were stuck, one by one, they left unsaid, on each era, on each life, but that’s what connected everyone back then" however I can only pinpoint its importance in my life... that life is a bit like this room where people have given up on their dreams and in turn these dreams have ceased to exist...as time went by... but the fact that many are unable to reach for their dreams..seemingly drew these people as near as they can be. It is only their dense attitude that hinders them from understanding one another and truly helping each other. Moving on to the last phrase... (and also my favorite of all...) "kono namida ga aru kara, tsugi no ippo to naru, hakkiri, wakaru yo, mae ni susunderutte, kagayaki no moto e" which means "because these tears that i shed will become another step, i will know, certainly that i’m going forward towards the shining light" or to "because these tears exist, when the next step occurs, i just know everything will become clear...if i just continue forward, to the origin of this radiance...." and I just love this line... I really, really mean that I love this line... because it tries to explain that although we cry, that when we start to make a forward step to our dreams, we will see and we 'must' know that everything will become clear.

I just love how life goes on... how we fall... how we stumble... and yet how we find faith in a little piece of music and simply hold on. I've always wanted to become someone who I am... as maybe... a bit calm at times, however, I often loose my nerves and break down and at that time, you might find me singing...humming... or listening... to my life's revolving song.

It has been such a long time since I have written the least bit of information in this blog, I don't know... I quite rely on this "blog" to keep my happiest beginnings... having my loneliest moments at rest in my other blogs... I want to become...who I can become... and yet I know that I cannot be who I am not. How confusing it is to hate yourself and at the same time....just...being unable to do anything about it. I hope life's journeys will never cease to go up...neither would I want it to never go down, for if it never goes down then how do I know that it just went up? :D