Surprise, surprise (2007.12.14)
O-okay, I can't think of a good name... sooo... there, surprise, surprise. Such a lame excuse, I know, but anyway, so what is this post about? Nothing really... just a few updates, a few infos, a many changes and well... that's about it.
First off, it's been well over two weeks since I last held a computer for my own purposes. Yes, I don't exactly know the reason, but I was able to last that long. It's been exactly one week since my vacation started, and it'll probably last less than two more weeks. Great, right? Yeah, reaaaaally. I mean it in a sarcastic way.
So let's move on. Why the hell did I waste my time not clicking buttons on a stupid laptop or a monitor-less computer? What for? Nothing really. I just found some better things, or funner things, to do. I promised myself I won't play online games anymore, or at least I won't venture into new servers and stuff until graduation day. SurgeRO, BlackoutRO and DarkRO are quite enough for me. -_- yeah, yeah, so many right? Not in the least, in my opinion anyway.
Let's talk more about those three servers for a while. I first joined SurgeRO last summer. Joined it on account of seeing it off a website as one of the best high rated unofficial servers. Well, I had fun. Good fun and PVPing WoE fun. I missed that by the way. I missed playing a priest, turning into a high priest, and helping others. Not a really 'fun' past-time right? But I found it really fun. Hah, well, moving on. Last september? It was around the range of our second quarter when my good friend talked about MUS, the Ragnarok role-playing forum. And guess what, she was so into the characters that she wanted to play the game itself. Bad choice for her, online games are appealing for a time but not for school stuff. Well, anyway, I joined BlackoutRO to be with her there. She was quite new and we played the game more for the game itself. Not the competition it posed. I met a few people who loved sitting around doing nothing at all. Got to know one person in particular that interested me, but stopped playing the game altogether. Why? To get away from the person I was interested in. Who knew if we could ever develop feelings or such? I just knew I was beginning to do just that and I had to stop it. I mean the guy lives 12-hours behind the time I live. Talk about a pretty big time gap. Moving on, I went to DarkRO for the meantime I didn't play in BlackoutRO. I was helped by a very nice friend I met way back in the official pRO. It was cool playing and not using a priest, but I am well-suited for that job. You just have to admit it. For about a week I continued to play.. then I got tired of it little by little. Then I gave up playing for my grades. Oh what good it did. I am serious this time.
It's queer though that I did pretty well in that quarter, despite the fact that I wasn't trying that much. Oh... yeah, I forgot. LUCK is a big factor in my grades.. yep, it really is.
Well, okay, okay, okay. This quarter I'm sure to fail. Fail in my expectations at least. But I'm not expecting much, so I guess it's alright. You know I've been through all three years before striving to survive, but knowing I can survive without even trying. There's just something I was hoping to achieve, that I'm not even aware of. I dunno what that something is, but I'm sure it's not worthit. What, like my whole youth is worth a label when I graduate? Like hell. Oh yes, by the way, I really love speaking/typing like this, it really gets out much from me, so please bear with it.
Moving on. Another hobby? Role-playing in a forum? I guess that could count as a pretty good hobby. Yeah, I joined GK Advanced for this third quarter and well I think it took more from my studies than playing two servers of ragnarok did. Or I could really just be unlucky this quarter. I always do that, if you know what I mean. I always fail in the least expected time. And I always do much better when I really don't need it the most. Oh what the hell. Role-playing is quite a drag. I don't understand it myself. It just exhausts your english skills, drains your imagination and takes up much of your time. Now what can I say? I don't specifically love it since I'm not very effective in it, and well most of the people I RP with don't really want to RP with me. Or I just can't relate so much with most of them. I used to care whether or not I could fit in that forum, but right now... who cares? I can't change what they want in pilots/people and I can't do anything about it. I wouldn't want to be a kiss-ass now would I?
Good, well, that's done for. Updates are now... uhmm... wait. I still have a few things in mind... or just one in particular. It's about attending YFC meetings and all that. Since the second quarter, or the middle of it, I haven't attended a YFC assembly. I don't exactly know why, but you have to admit school's been driving out a lot from me. I can't say I have been doing my very best because the thing is, school has been driving me crazy. Yes, I could very well become emo and use a freakin' blade to cut myself, but no.. I don't want that. So I don't want to attend YFC assemblies for the simple reason that I haven't resolved myself yet. Why would I want to get people involved with my own school craziness? No.. they don't deserve to get that kind of problem from me. Not that anyone else is deserving, but they're too good to run into me when I'm like this. Yes, I still am partly like a dog run-over by a truck, but I think I can handle it more now.
Time heals all wounds, I suppose.
And speaking of all wounds... I really had to laugh to myself when I found out one sunday mass that it was December 2 and I read the past memories of a guy I liked before whose birthday was December 1. It's been a while since I last heard of him, and well I just have to say, there is definitely one thing I still need to tell him, that I'm sorry. I'm sure he heard that line from me many times before, but to officially apologize I have to reason out a few things. I'm sorry that I was a fool. I read all my emails, all your emails, remembered everything and pondered about each one. I was definitely naive back then and I think I still am. Though I must have matured a bit, even in the way I speak or write. Also, I must have gained a bit more confidence. I might still be the same shy person, but somehow I've improved. I was actually wrong in what I did... if ever you're reading this, you know that I was wrong in a lot of things, but anyway I'm just reminding you that I know them all. I've appreciated our time together and I'm hoping for goodness in our futures. ^_^
Nice, the updates are just about done. Many of the new things were mentioned, but there's still more. I'm still wondering why I didn't touch a computer when I had to. Probably because I don't want to anymore. Yes, I still love typing, but not for RPing, and I still love searching for random stuff, but not for anime pictures or animes, and I want to continue to surf the net. But, I needed that time off. Precious time for myself. Hah, talk about LOL.
So tell me, what can I do that is for myself? I didn't even want to watch animes, dvds, series or stuff like that. I simply wanted to sleep. And yes, sleeping is such a good thing! I've been deprived of it since... I dunno... since three or four years ago? But gosh, it was nice sleeping and doing nothing at all. I learned to love clothes.. yes... dresses, frilly cutesy dresses, skirts, miniskirts, capri pants, blouses, t-shirts, spaghetti traps, and well... a lot more girly clothes. But somehow, I even admitted it to myself that I'll NEVER wear them to school on a normal day. I mean grad ball and prom are like big events for the seniors.. so I need to wear a good dress. But anyway, I can kind of.. wear them only when I'm going where no one else knows me. 'Else' because it is quite true that I need to go somewhere with someone... so most of those someones are part of my family. Gah, I can't even stop from thinking of something pretty to wear. I look at the TV and notice only what they're wearing. Something MUST be really wrong. Or I could just be growing up into someone girly..
Girly stuff isn't limited to clothes, fashionable clothes to be exact. It's more on the part of make-up. Yes, I do love them. I am not.. well... good in applying them, for crying out loud. But I do love trying them on. Oh come on... trying them on will be such a blast. And more for me since I am quite embarassed of my pimple-scarred face. But oh what the hell, make-up can hide it. But never in school... NEVER. Oh... oh.. oh.... *hearts* *hearts*
Turning to another part of girly stuff.. stuff.. what about cross-stitching? Yeah, I am interested in that too. So much as well for cooking. I can BARELY cook ANYTHING. But I want to learn... really, I want to learn! I know how to cut up the ingredients, that must be an improvement! But, woe is me... I don't have the time to concoct weird food. xD
Yes, yes, yes... I still love anime, but not as much. I still am interested in RPing, but I have a kind of dislike in it at the same time. I know I'll still miss RO, so I will play when summer vacation comes, but not now. I still don't blog so much, but when I have the time I will. I kind of still like listening to japanese songs, but I'm learning to love OPM songs much more.. they are.. quite interesting to listen to. I still can't wear showy dresses as much as my eldest sibling does, but I just love wearing them and trying them out. I am still not good in applying make-up, but I'm learning piece by piece. I am definitely not able to cook, but I am trying to help out. I'm still LAZY as a BUM, and I can't change that, sorry. Lol xD. Now everything is in here... Nobody really reads this, but what the heck. I'm writing for my own satisfaction. ^_^ Oh and lastly, I still have this dislike for myself, but I'm learning to love it as time goes by. I used to think maybe if someone I liked liked who I am I could learn to love myself, but now I think I don't really need someone to assure me that life is worth loving. My brains still belong to school, but my heart belongs to no one but God. Not yet, at least. xP
First off, it's been well over two weeks since I last held a computer for my own purposes. Yes, I don't exactly know the reason, but I was able to last that long. It's been exactly one week since my vacation started, and it'll probably last less than two more weeks. Great, right? Yeah, reaaaaally. I mean it in a sarcastic way.
So let's move on. Why the hell did I waste my time not clicking buttons on a stupid laptop or a monitor-less computer? What for? Nothing really. I just found some better things, or funner things, to do. I promised myself I won't play online games anymore, or at least I won't venture into new servers and stuff until graduation day. SurgeRO, BlackoutRO and DarkRO are quite enough for me. -_- yeah, yeah, so many right? Not in the least, in my opinion anyway.
Let's talk more about those three servers for a while. I first joined SurgeRO last summer. Joined it on account of seeing it off a website as one of the best high rated unofficial servers. Well, I had fun. Good fun and PVPing WoE fun. I missed that by the way. I missed playing a priest, turning into a high priest, and helping others. Not a really 'fun' past-time right? But I found it really fun. Hah, well, moving on. Last september? It was around the range of our second quarter when my good friend talked about MUS, the Ragnarok role-playing forum. And guess what, she was so into the characters that she wanted to play the game itself. Bad choice for her, online games are appealing for a time but not for school stuff. Well, anyway, I joined BlackoutRO to be with her there. She was quite new and we played the game more for the game itself. Not the competition it posed. I met a few people who loved sitting around doing nothing at all. Got to know one person in particular that interested me, but stopped playing the game altogether. Why? To get away from the person I was interested in. Who knew if we could ever develop feelings or such? I just knew I was beginning to do just that and I had to stop it. I mean the guy lives 12-hours behind the time I live. Talk about a pretty big time gap. Moving on, I went to DarkRO for the meantime I didn't play in BlackoutRO. I was helped by a very nice friend I met way back in the official pRO. It was cool playing and not using a priest, but I am well-suited for that job. You just have to admit it. For about a week I continued to play.. then I got tired of it little by little. Then I gave up playing for my grades. Oh what good it did. I am serious this time.
It's queer though that I did pretty well in that quarter, despite the fact that I wasn't trying that much. Oh... yeah, I forgot. LUCK is a big factor in my grades.. yep, it really is.
Well, okay, okay, okay. This quarter I'm sure to fail. Fail in my expectations at least. But I'm not expecting much, so I guess it's alright. You know I've been through all three years before striving to survive, but knowing I can survive without even trying. There's just something I was hoping to achieve, that I'm not even aware of. I dunno what that something is, but I'm sure it's not worthit. What, like my whole youth is worth a label when I graduate? Like hell. Oh yes, by the way, I really love speaking/typing like this, it really gets out much from me, so please bear with it.
Moving on. Another hobby? Role-playing in a forum? I guess that could count as a pretty good hobby. Yeah, I joined GK Advanced for this third quarter and well I think it took more from my studies than playing two servers of ragnarok did. Or I could really just be unlucky this quarter. I always do that, if you know what I mean. I always fail in the least expected time. And I always do much better when I really don't need it the most. Oh what the hell. Role-playing is quite a drag. I don't understand it myself. It just exhausts your english skills, drains your imagination and takes up much of your time. Now what can I say? I don't specifically love it since I'm not very effective in it, and well most of the people I RP with don't really want to RP with me. Or I just can't relate so much with most of them. I used to care whether or not I could fit in that forum, but right now... who cares? I can't change what they want in pilots/people and I can't do anything about it. I wouldn't want to be a kiss-ass now would I?
Good, well, that's done for. Updates are now... uhmm... wait. I still have a few things in mind... or just one in particular. It's about attending YFC meetings and all that. Since the second quarter, or the middle of it, I haven't attended a YFC assembly. I don't exactly know why, but you have to admit school's been driving out a lot from me. I can't say I have been doing my very best because the thing is, school has been driving me crazy. Yes, I could very well become emo and use a freakin' blade to cut myself, but no.. I don't want that. So I don't want to attend YFC assemblies for the simple reason that I haven't resolved myself yet. Why would I want to get people involved with my own school craziness? No.. they don't deserve to get that kind of problem from me. Not that anyone else is deserving, but they're too good to run into me when I'm like this. Yes, I still am partly like a dog run-over by a truck, but I think I can handle it more now.
Time heals all wounds, I suppose.
And speaking of all wounds... I really had to laugh to myself when I found out one sunday mass that it was December 2 and I read the past memories of a guy I liked before whose birthday was December 1. It's been a while since I last heard of him, and well I just have to say, there is definitely one thing I still need to tell him, that I'm sorry. I'm sure he heard that line from me many times before, but to officially apologize I have to reason out a few things. I'm sorry that I was a fool. I read all my emails, all your emails, remembered everything and pondered about each one. I was definitely naive back then and I think I still am. Though I must have matured a bit, even in the way I speak or write. Also, I must have gained a bit more confidence. I might still be the same shy person, but somehow I've improved. I was actually wrong in what I did... if ever you're reading this, you know that I was wrong in a lot of things, but anyway I'm just reminding you that I know them all. I've appreciated our time together and I'm hoping for goodness in our futures. ^_^
Nice, the updates are just about done. Many of the new things were mentioned, but there's still more. I'm still wondering why I didn't touch a computer when I had to. Probably because I don't want to anymore. Yes, I still love typing, but not for RPing, and I still love searching for random stuff, but not for anime pictures or animes, and I want to continue to surf the net. But, I needed that time off. Precious time for myself. Hah, talk about LOL.
So tell me, what can I do that is for myself? I didn't even want to watch animes, dvds, series or stuff like that. I simply wanted to sleep. And yes, sleeping is such a good thing! I've been deprived of it since... I dunno... since three or four years ago? But gosh, it was nice sleeping and doing nothing at all. I learned to love clothes.. yes... dresses, frilly cutesy dresses, skirts, miniskirts, capri pants, blouses, t-shirts, spaghetti traps, and well... a lot more girly clothes. But somehow, I even admitted it to myself that I'll NEVER wear them to school on a normal day. I mean grad ball and prom are like big events for the seniors.. so I need to wear a good dress. But anyway, I can kind of.. wear them only when I'm going where no one else knows me. 'Else' because it is quite true that I need to go somewhere with someone... so most of those someones are part of my family. Gah, I can't even stop from thinking of something pretty to wear. I look at the TV and notice only what they're wearing. Something MUST be really wrong. Or I could just be growing up into someone girly..
Girly stuff isn't limited to clothes, fashionable clothes to be exact. It's more on the part of make-up. Yes, I do love them. I am not.. well... good in applying them, for crying out loud. But I do love trying them on. Oh come on... trying them on will be such a blast. And more for me since I am quite embarassed of my pimple-scarred face. But oh what the hell, make-up can hide it. But never in school... NEVER. Oh... oh.. oh.... *hearts* *hearts*
Turning to another part of girly stuff.. stuff.. what about cross-stitching? Yeah, I am interested in that too. So much as well for cooking. I can BARELY cook ANYTHING. But I want to learn... really, I want to learn! I know how to cut up the ingredients, that must be an improvement! But, woe is me... I don't have the time to concoct weird food. xD
Yes, yes, yes... I still love anime, but not as much. I still am interested in RPing, but I have a kind of dislike in it at the same time. I know I'll still miss RO, so I will play when summer vacation comes, but not now. I still don't blog so much, but when I have the time I will. I kind of still like listening to japanese songs, but I'm learning to love OPM songs much more.. they are.. quite interesting to listen to. I still can't wear showy dresses as much as my eldest sibling does, but I just love wearing them and trying them out. I am still not good in applying make-up, but I'm learning piece by piece. I am definitely not able to cook, but I am trying to help out. I'm still LAZY as a BUM, and I can't change that, sorry. Lol xD. Now everything is in here... Nobody really reads this, but what the heck. I'm writing for my own satisfaction. ^_^ Oh and lastly, I still have this dislike for myself, but I'm learning to love it as time goes by. I used to think maybe if someone I liked liked who I am I could learn to love myself, but now I think I don't really need someone to assure me that life is worth loving. My brains still belong to school, but my heart belongs to no one but God. Not yet, at least. xP
posted by angel_up3 at 3:45 PM
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