Friends.

I'm reading this manga entitled "Hoshi wa Utau". It's a bit different from the other mangas I've read. I was even 60% reluctant to read it until the 17th chapter. I mean, I keep looking for love stories and fangirling bishies, but this manga definitely contains sadness and knowledge. I'd say it isn't a josei manga, it's not for mature women, but more like it's not for shallow women either. By the way, I term it shallow because most teenagers today form a kind of dream of good looking guys and wonderful romances. I'd say I'm 50% shallow and simple minded and 50% warped. Yeah, I have to laugh about the warped part. Mysteriously, my mind is too much to handle and it gets tough sometimes, so I call it seriously warped because it changes too much and it searches for things that are extremely deep.

Moving on, I'd recommend the manga to people who are fed up with the low-ness and loneliness of their own lives. I mean sure, we'd have friends, boyfriends and whatnots, but in the end they wouldn't matter. I can't recommend this to emo people or weak-willed people for it is really depressing. But my 50% warped mind looks at it in a good way, at least.

Quoting from Hoshi wa Utau chapter 6, page 08:

"...you're not friends if you don't talk about everything? You can flush that thought right down the toilet. It's not like I want to know, so bad, that I'll go so far as to pry. Even I haven't told Saku everything about myself."

So you see, we always feel the need to know everything about our friends, but we don't really need to press them for it. They will tell us in due time. If we really are their friends, we should wait for them to come to us. But of course, we should prove our worth to them first. As 50% of my mind imagined, I thought childhood friends knew everything about their friend, but no. 50% of my mind told me, it's not always like that. We are, after all, people and we tend to hide things that would make someone look down on us. Or maybe we hide things to preserve our pride. We were born with these things, so it's normal. It's natural. Ahh, but I also believe that we should let secrets out once in a while. Though I prefer telling them to strangers, or to people that I can really depend on. I hope you're one of them. I choose friends out of their intentions to be near me, and of course if they can keep up with me and me with them.

Keep it simple.

It's been so long since I last posted anything here. My last blog entry can be found in friendster, so I decided to put a new one here. I'd like to keep this simple. The point of the blog post is to contemplate over a simple quote from a manga. You know, people can really learn a lot from mangakas and anime creators. I loved fruits basket because of the quotes I got and the life lessons I discovered. But of course, the most precious life lessons are found by searching. You can appreciate a theory most when you came up with it through your own experiences. Moving on then, to quote from the manga Gokinjo Monogatari, Chapter 4, Volume 1, Page 31 (source: onemanga.com)

"Didn't you know, people change their appearances to make themselves feel better? Depending on their emotional state? Especially with girls..."

Now let me explain why this specific message hit me straight through the heart. It's because before the third year started I didn't care much about looks. I was pimple-faced all through out high school just because I cared too much about grades and all. But I don't regret studying, I mean it payed off well for the grades part, probably not for the lessons part. I barely remember anything I learned before. Well, nevermind, let me just proceed. Then there was a time during that summer after the third year that I wanted to change. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, I need to face it. It was natural for me, though, before, I mean, that I couldn't look myself in the mirror. To have a face that isn't worth looking at... it was humiliating, degrading and all. I had no confidence whatsoever. So I started with derma sessions. It was fine, but since I couldn't keep up with it and with school at the same time, the pimples returned. Then this fourth year I went to a new derma clinic and I've been having treatments for so long. I know it cost too much to count. It also hurt a little less than hell, I think, but I find it worthwhile. I can look at myself in the mirror and say, "You've done well." So there... when I found myself unable to move on because I lacked confidence, I changed myself. The quote is true for me, and it continues on as I live day by day. I tend to not solve things on my own and rely on time to decide for me... but now, I'll try to do things the way I would in my true pace. I hope I meet more people. Much more than what little I've known in my high school life. ^_^

This is quite a change, if I may say so myself. I'm actually using correct punctuations for around 90% of what I've written. That's good, I think.